FinsNation

Ronnie Brown to be Traded?

Armando Salguero writes in his blog that Black Thunder, aka Ronnie Brown, might be traded by the Dolphins before the regular season starts. Salguero sites ESPN's Chris Mortensen and some off-hand comment he made on the extremely unwatchable Monday Night Countdown last night:

Mortensen was asked about Ricky Williams and [...] he went on to say that the Dolphins are so pleased with Williams he "would not be surprised if Ronnie Brown sinks," to the point where "he is playing with another team this season." Mortensen's reason for Brown being out of here is that the player is "struggling" this preseason.

We all know Parcells isn't crazy about running backs (a hunk of cheese, however, is another story) and Ronnie has looked pretty crappy so far in camp and in pre-season. But unless there's a team dumb enough to give the Fins a first round pick or a high second-rounder, this doesn't make all that much sense.

Also, it's important to remember that our chief sources for this "story" are Armando Salguero and Chris Mortensen, two guys who rely heavily on the enchanting power of imagination and one of those water skiing squirrels for their sources on things like this.

-The DUDE

Black Thunder is Rolling Again

Remember last year when Ronnie Brown blew up his knee trying to tackle a Patriot DB who just intercepted a pass? And we were all like, "Oh man, Ronnie got dinged up," and then three minutes later we were all like, "Oh shit. Not good." and then we were all like, "Why us?" and then we were all like, "God hates us! God fucking hates us!"

Remember that?

Good times.

Well, less than a year later it looks like the universal colossus that is Ronnie Brown, the man we here at FN affectionately call Black Thunder (t-shirts coming soon!), is on his way back sooner than expected:

Less than eight months after sustaining a season-ending knee injury, Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown took part in 11-on-11 team drills for the first time this week, a sign that points to a full return by next month's training camp. "It's a big step,'' said Brown after Thursday's practice, the final organized team activity session until the start of training camp in late July. "A step closer to getting ready for the season and getting ready for training camp.

11-on-11 drills, taking contact, and being a part of the first-team. Badassery at its finest, my friends. Most torn ACLs take over a year to fully heal. But Ronnie Brown is no ordinary man. He's Black Thunder, bitch (t-shirts coming soon!) and, well, quite frankly, he and Ricky Williams are really the only hope we have of not completely shitting the bed this coming season.

Ronnie is not fully healed, mind you. But this is a huge step forward. This means he could quite possibly be ready to jump into the fray when the season starts. First victim of the Black Thunder Rolling Rally of Ass Kicking & Cockpunches: the New York Jets.

And he's gonna run all over their asses, blow right through their DBs and LBs like a cannon ball, rip off their helmets with their heads still in them and FedEx them to Bob Sutton's home, take a dump in Eric Mangini's mouth, rip off Calvin Pace's arm and beat Vernon Gholston to death with it, and go up into the stands and shove Fireman Ed's hat so far up his ass, they'll need the jaws of life to go in and pry it out.

Because he's Black Thunder!

And he just don't give a fuck!

(t-shirts coming soon!)

Ronnie Brown Is Done

The shit has officially hit the fan.

Ronnie Brown is out for the season.

The Dolphins haven't said what the severity of the injury is yet. Put your money on a torn ACL.

My God ... make it stop!

Update 2: As I said. Put your money on a torn ACL. Not good.

This is the worst possible news we could get. Torn ACLs are no joke. Typically, it takes a player 18 months to fully recover to their previous form and even then, they're not the player they once were. Ronnie Brown's bruising style will make it difficult for him to stay completely healthy the rest of his career. Durability will always be an issue. This doesn't mean Brown will never contribute for us again. But it does beg the question, will he ever be the same? The odds say no. Deuce McAllister and Javon Walker come to mind.

(And still I don't want us targeting Darren McFadden with what will  be the Number 1 or 2 pick).

This Dolphins team is truly, pathetically, tragic.

Update: Safety Renaldo Hill is also done for the season.

The Homeless Genius Likes Black Thunder

So far this season, Bill Belichick has had to game-plan against great players like LaDainian Tomlinson, Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, and Tony Romo. But he says the one guy he's most impressed with so far is Ronnie Brown.

"Best player I've seen this year offensively," said Belichick.

"He's done a good job in the running game of being patient, of taking the holes that are there," Belichick said. "He runs hard. He's hard to tackle. ... Physically, he's a strong player."

Wow. Belichick said all that about Ronnie Brown? Cool!

Although when he said it, it sounded like, "Mumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumble. Mumblemumblemumblemumble. ... Mumble, mumblemumblemumble."

So we'll just have to take the Palm Beach Post's word for it.

And Ronnie's reaction?

It's all good, baby.

"Obviously, the guys he has on his team and their play-making abilities and some of the people they face ... that's a great compliment," Brown said.

So very cool, baby.

Ronnie Brown is another 100 yard game from tying the all-time franchise mark for most consecutive games with 100 yards rushing. It would be fantastic if he not only ties the record, but breaks it. Even better if he did it against the Patriots. You know. Because they're mega-douchebags, all of 'em.

It doesn't take a genius to see that Ronnie Brown is flat out kicking ass in every direction this season. He seems to be the only Dolphin who plays the game of football like he's got a pair these days. And he's trucking over fools like they were made of raw meat and he, a meat grinder. Because that's what Ronnie Brown does. And that's what he turns opposing defensive players into. Minced meat.

The Dolphins are going to need a shit load of breaks on Sunday against New England if they're going to pull off the upset of the century. So, offensively, it starts and ends with Ronnie Brown. Cam needs to not deviate from what's been working so far for this offense lately. He needs to ride Ronnie all day long. Ride him like a wild horse. Not literally, of course. That would be creepy.

But ride him! Because Ronnie Brown is the awesomeness. Even a smarmy football genius like Bill Belichick knows this.

Yes, Bill, Ronnie Brown is the shit.

Recognize.

-

Everybody Relax: Ronnie Will Be The Starter

So outside of Cam Cameron using only 20 percent of his plays during pre-season and Trent Green being named the starter for the season, the other big news of the day is that the starting running back position is not yet settled. It's also here. And here.

Everyone just needs to calm the hell down. Ronnie Brown is going to be the starter this season.

Brown is by leaps and bounds the best running back on this squad. It’s not even close.

Despite having an offensive line made up of Rex Hadnot, Buddy Hackett and the guy who played Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs last year (it’s true. look it up.), Brown still managed to finish the season with 1,008 yards and 5 TDs. And he also missed some time with a fluky injury.

He ran for 157 yards against the stout Chicago Bears defense last year.

He averages well over 4 yards a carry.

He is very capable of having a 1,300 yard, double-digit TD season if he can get competent offensive linemen and a quarterback and a wide receiver and a tight end who, you know, know how to play the game of American rules football.

There is no other back on the Dolphins roster that combines his size and pass catching abilities.

And for those of you who keep harping on that Brown is a first-round bust, please keep in mind that he’s had Chris Butter Fingers Chambers and Randy Smeared In Vaseline McMichael catching passes from Gus Headbangin Frerote, Daunte Peg-Leg Culpepper and Joey Blueskies Harrington.

In other words: the offensive line and the passing game has sucked ass ever since Ronnie was drafted. Larry Johnson is a great back. But he’s had one of the best offensive lines in the league to run behind. Ditto LaDanian Tomlinson. Shaun Alexander has probably the best offensive lineman in the league in Walter Jones blowing up defensive tackles and linebackers for him.

Jesse Chatman is good. I like him a lot. But Jesse Chatman is not going to win the starting job. Not unless Cameron has something up his sleeve (like a trade in the works, but that is highly unlikely).

I think Cameron is just giving us a little Coachspeak. And we’re all freaking out just a tad. It’s fodder for August – the absolute worst month for sports.

Come September, Ronnie Brown is going to be the starting running back for your Miami Dolphins. If not, then I’m moving to Sarasota and becoming a Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Because they have the adorable Jon Gruden. And they have a cannon in their stadium and I like when things explode. And their old logo had a gay pirate on it. And they have Jeff Garcia. And his wife is hot. And he looks like Golem. And I look like Ricardo Maltoban circa 1965. So the odds are clearly in my favor.