So Long, Dan Carpenter


Unless you’ve been living in Egypt for the past 24 hours, you’ll know that Dan Carpenter was released by the Dolphins in an effort to save some flowage against the cap and give more reps to 5th round pick, Caleb Sturgis.  Sturgis impressed the shit out of everyone in the Jax preseason game with 6 kicks into the endzone (4 for touchbacks) and a couple of long FGs dude was all ‘NBD’ about.  Coming in cold and kicking a 58 yarder is no bullshit and it’s the kinda thing that has Jeffy Ireland fappin’ til his peener is blood red.

Nonetheless, we’ve overall been fans of Dan Carpenter and his flowing locks here at FN so we salute you, Viking Montana Kicking Man, and wish you all the best in your career and that whole ‘rest of your meaningless life’ thing. 

Also, we’re sorry that Sparano broke you in 2010.  That fat guy was a stupid dick.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

Fan (177 Posts)

Just hang on a bit… we’ll get it sorted out.

9 Responses to “So Long, Dan Carpenter”

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  1. Jimmy says:

    Fist pump, k.

  2. Gersom says:

    So…uh….what are they going to do about the tight end position???

  3. El Mocoso says:

    Is McMichael still available out there, anywhere? Or is it going to be Clay and, sigh – Egnew?

  4. Ray Finkle says:

    Fuck the Texans with a magnum wine bottle, bottoms up. Such a shit stain of a franchise. Cheap shot on Keller and now PFT shows video of Antonio Smith taking Incognito’s helmet off and bashing him in the face with it. I can recall feeling bad for Cushing last year when that big bastard on the Jets did a belly flop on the back of his legs… but now… I welcome it. I hope nothing but injury and famine upon the entire Texan organization.

    In other news, it’s good to have football back.

  5. brodacious says:

    He wasn’t what he used to be, but Goddamn I miss the Mullet.

  6. Ray Finkle says:

    The fuckin Jests are having a banner day, fumbled snaps, running into their own endzone for safeties, a bounty of interceptions, and Mark Sanchez gets trucked and hurts his shoulder. With the first overall pick in the 2014 draft the NY Jets pick…

  7. Home Brew says:

    Carpenter has been fired, signed w another team and was fired again since this blog went up

    Knock the dust off this thing, Will Ya !


    have a HAARPy day !

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