Weekender: Fraulein McBoobies!


Sorry about the lack of posts from me here at FN, Nation. The man has me shackled with his “rules” and “responsibilities” and “bills” and “feed your kids” and shit. I’ve been swamped. But I’m here to kick off my 2011 Weekender in style. So you can unclench your sphincters now.

Point being, I’m here to show you boobies and ass.

And this week I give you Jordan Carver. She’s a German model. She’s become kind of an Internet sensation and has been in a commercial or two. But mainly, she has big tits.

And if you don’t appreciate big tits, then you’re really just an asshole. And you probably like penis. But mostly, you’re an asshole.

In this Q & A she reveals that the place she likes to be touched are her hips. Which makes no godamn sense to me. That’s like me saying I like to be touched on my nostrils. Still, if that’s what it takes to get to the top, then so be it.

Hey, you have to believe in your dreams. That’s what the magician that worked my 8th birthday party taught me. Well it was him and my buddy Bryan’s mom. She had enormous breasts.

I think the moral of this story for the kids out there is that you should have friends with moms with big tits.

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Just hang on a bit… we’ll get it sorted out.

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