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Zach Thomas

Friday, August 01, 2008

Dolphin Stadium Website Says We're Eight Days Away From Pre-Season, Hates Zach Thomas

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A quick glance at the Dolphin Stadium website Events Calender page tells me that the Fins' first pre-season game is just eight days away! Saturday, August 9 at 7:00 PM!

It also sports this weird-ass shot of ex-Dolphin great Zach Thomas on the left hand side of the page.

What the fuck is up with that? Is that picture even real? We have an unsteady, flailing Zach Thomas who is perhaps a little drunk, and then a foot belonging to a guy who apparently dove headfirst into the ground. This is the picture the Dolphin Stadium web design team went with.

Google 'Miami Dolphins pictures' and you get 314,000 pics to choose from. Like this. Or this. Or even this. Yet the Dolphin Stadium web design team inexplicably went with the Zach Thomas Getting Kicked in the Face motif. That's just all different kinds of shades of fucked up.

But anyway, yea.... eight days away!

-The DUDE

Friday, February 15, 2008

Weekender: Saying Goodbye to 54

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Wow. Never in the history of this franchise has there ever been such a conflicting damn-this-really-sucks-but-this-was-a-good-move moment like this one. It's hard to articulate. Zach Thomas is a Dolphins icon. The kind of player that defines the passions of an entire fan base with his fervor and balls-to-the-wall approach to the game. Hard nosed, full throttle, all heart.

Zach Thomas was a freight-train every Sunday. A head-hunting gladiator seeking out the guy with the football so he could knock off his head and shit down his neck. This fan base fell in love with Zach as soon as he set foot on the field in 1996. He was a gritty kid from Texas, a 5th round pick no one ever heard of. The only thing we knew about him was that his father accidentally rolled the family pickup over his head when he was a kid, and the boy didn't feel a thing. But as soon as he hit the gridiron, he immediately turned heads and drew comparisons to Hall of Famer Nick Buoniconti. He came kicking in skulls and crushing opposing players into fine powder, and we immediately knew we had ourselves a star middle linebacker for many years to come.

He's a 7-time Pro Bowler and arguably the greatest player on the defensive side of the ball in Dolphins history. And as far as the Pro Football Hall of Fame goes, consider this: Zach Thomas has more career tackles than all the linebackers currently enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Sadly, his last season with the Fins was mired in concussions, migraines and a palpable feeling that he was inevitably going to be shown the door. It's a shitty way for a legend to end his 12-year marriage with this team and its fans. But that's the cold reality of this business. Zach's age, recent injury issues and hefty contract would’ve been too much weight for another team to trade for him. His release frees up Miami's salary cap space and officially signals the call of a franchise building for the future. So the bottom line is that it was a good business decision by the Dolphins to cut him.

But it still stings like a bitch.

Zach Thomas is the Miami Dolphins. In as much as Dan Marino and Don Shula are. This team might be improved in the future without him. But this team will never be the same.

So, good luck Zach. We love you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for giving us all you got and nothing less. Thanks for your blood, sweat and tears. Thanks for being a class act. Thanks for signing those autographs for me. Thanks for representing us with your fearlessness and determination every Sunday. We'll see you when they hang your name and number up in the Dolphins Ring of Honor. Then we'll be able to give you a more proper farewell. One fit for a true warrior.

Goodbye, 54.

(And please, for the love of all that is good and decent, don't go to the Patriots.)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Holy Sh*t! Zach's No Longer A Dolphin! (Updated)

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BREAKING NEWS:
Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com is reporting that the Fins are going to release Zach Thomas today.

Update: The Herald's Salguero is confirming the news.

Update 2: Zach has released a statement.

Update 3: The Miami Dolphins have made it official.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Zach Thomas Is Done For the Season

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Yea, I guess we should've seen this coming.

Zach is officially done for the year, placing a big ass exclamation point on this sorry sack of shit of a season.

And yet, there are still four more games left to endure. Fantastic!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Should 54 Call it a Career?

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Time to face up to a tough question. Should Zach Thomas hang up his over-sized helmet and call it a career?

Former Herald beat-writer Alex Marvez thinks so.

Thomas missed last Sunday's 31-28 loss to the New York Jets after suffering what is classified as a minor concussion from the previous game against Dallas. Dolphins coach Cam Cameron sounds optimistic that Thomas will receive clearance to play in Sunday's matchup against Oakland.

Still, maybe Thomas shouldn't return — ever — even if he passes a litany of tests.

Commendably, Thomas was always candid and insightful during my eight seasons as a Dolphins beat reporter. But his eyes were sometimes glazed and speech slower in the aftermath of a major head blow.

It's a tough question, no doubt. Zach is 34 years old and he's played his career at full throttle -- every down, every play, going after every player like a heat-seeking missile. And concussions are serious business. But as good as Channing Crowder (apparently) was last week, playing in Thomas' slot, it was pretty damn obvious Zach was missed. I'd hate to see Zach walk away. I'd hate to see my Dolphins devoid of yet another face-of-the-franchise-who-retires-without-a-ring. But I'd be equally upset about seeing Zach, 7 to 10 years from now, drooling at the side of his mouth and greeting every one he sees with a "Hello Betty!" That would be far worse. And the Dolphins' all-time leading tackler has enough money to buy the Dolphins (hey, wait a minute!), so it's not like he needs to keep playing to pay the bills or put his kids through college.

Still, no one takes care of himself better than Thomas. And he's not stupid. He knows the deal and I think he knows that when his body -- or in this case, his brain -- tells him to quit, he'll listen and obey. Plus, the guy doesn't play for Bill Belichick, who makes dudes play with partial brain-damage because, fuck you, I'm the Homeless Genius and I have 158 rings and sleep with married women so you'll do what I say and like it! Zach is a physical specimen and treats himself as such by taking extra care of himself and his body.

As an undersized 1996 fifth-round draft choice, Thomas has always sought an edge in physical and mental preparation. He purchased a hyperbaric chamber for accelerated healing from injuries and had blood analysis done to design an optimal diet for athletic performance. Plus, no Dolphins player spends more time analyzing game film.

In a related story, yesterday I had one of those Jimmy Dean chocolate chip cookie dough pancakes wrapped around a sausage for breakfast and two Double Bacon Whopper with cheese meals and fries for lunch. For dinner, tacos! But I had a Diet Coke, so it was all balanced out.